


Love Song

by sanctuary_for_all



Series: Around Every Corner [1]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8906980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: Mac’s in love with someone who he’s sure doesn’t love him back. No one's really sure what to do about this.Especially Jack.***NOW WITH EXTRA CHAPTER***





	1. Chapter 1

Bozer kept it relatively together while they waved Jack and Riley off, but the moment they made it inside he collapsed back against the door with a swoon. “I’m in love, Mac,” he said, hand against his chest. “The _big_ love, the kind that you write the movie’s soundtrack around. Your future nieces and nephews are gonna have her eyes.”

Mac smiled at his friend as he collected the paperclip designs he’d left scattered and dropped them into the bowl in the center of the table. To him, Bozer had always been far more entertaining than the average movie. “Does Riley know about this plan, by any chance?”

“I’ve sort of given her the general idea, but I’m kind of holding off on some of the long term specifics.” He pushed away from the door, heading over to drop down on the couch. “I’m gonna do this the right way, take it slow as she needs me to.”

Mac raised an eyebrow at him, still amused. “All that talk about my future nieces and nephews didn’t sound slow.”

Bozer sighed, letting his head fall back. “I know, man, but it just hits me sometimes.” He mimed a wave crashing into him. “She’ll smile at me in a certain way, and bam – I see our whole future together in one big rush.”

Mac sobered, feeling a familiar ache in his chest as he sat down in one of the chairs. Yeah, he knew exactly what Bozer was talking about. “You’ve got to be careful with those rushes,” he muttered, picking up an unbent paperclip and starting to twist it without looking. “If you don’t learn to brace yourself, they’ll knock you flat.”

Bozer lifted his head, looking at Mac with a suddenly sympathetic expression. “You don’t have to keep beating yourself up about that, man. It sounds like Nikki fooled everybody.”

Mac made a dismissive sound. “That’s not what I was talking about.” After their initial mid-gunfight explanation, Jack had filled Bozer in on some of the details about Nikki. Mac had been grateful, both that Bozer knew and that he hadn't had to be the one to tell him. “Looking back, I don’t know if I was ever really in love with her. I just thought we wanted the same things.”

It had seemed like it worked, and Mac had never been very good at making relationships work. Finding out that she’d been playing him had made a lot of sense, retroactively – it was a more logical explanation than someone actually looking past his weirdness and deciding he was worth sticking around for.  Only two people had ever really done that – Bozer, and Jack.

Mac looked down at the shape in his hands, which was a pretty decent approximation of the Delta Force symbol.

When he looked back up again, Bozer was watching him with a weirdly intent expression. “That line about bracing yourself sounded like you were talking from experience,” he said finally, something in his voice that Mac couldn’t read. “If you weren’t talking about Nikki, that means you were in love with someone and didn’t tell me.”

Oh _hell_. Mac blinked, slipping the symbol in his pocket as he tried to backtrack. “Sure I did. You know—“ He'd already admitted to Bozer that he and Cindy had petered out, so that wasn't going to work as a cover story. Damn it, there had to be _some_ girl he’d dated long enough to be believable. “Erica. While I was in Afghanistan.”

“You mean your fellow EOD tech, who merited exactly _one_ mention in _one_ e-mail? Where you mostly talked about the bomb you dismantled together?” Bozer’s look said “You’ve got to be kidding me” better than words could. “Seriously, Mac, looking back I have no idea how you managed to lie to me about the whole secret agent thing. You’re really not very good at it.”

Mac sighed. “I’m better when someone hands me a cover story.”

“I’ve decided I’m going to find that endearing.” He leaned forward, expression suddenly sympathetic. “But the fact that you just tried to lie to me suggests that whoever this mysterious love of yours was is serious business, which means that you keeping it from me is a _major_ infraction of the best friend code of conduct.”

“I’m not—“ Mac cut off the denial, snapping his mouth closed as he watched Bozer’s face. More lies weren’t going to help this any. “It’s a guy.”

Bozer didn’t even flinch. “All that means is that there’s _two_ big, best friend-level things you didn’t tell me. You should know bisexuality is no big deal to me, buddy.”

Mac cleared his throat. “Demisexual, actually.” He hesitated. “I have to form a connection to someone before I’m attracted to them.”

“Also cool, and I can promise you I’m gonna spend some time with Google so I can be fully read up on this topic.” He kept his voice easy and cajoling, like he was luring a small animal out from a hole. “Now, tell me some more about this guy of yours. When did it happen? Did I know him?”

Mac looked down at his hands. “It won’t happen,” he said quietly. "He’s not interested.”

“Excuse me?” Suddenly, Bozer sounded absolutely indignant. “How could this asshole not be interested in you? You’re adorable.”

Mac found his lips curving upward completely against his will. “He’s straight, for one thing.” Then he sighed again, leaning back in the chair. “And it’s just... we’re friends. That’s enough for me, honest.”

He hadn’t even recognized it was anything more than that until he’d finally seen Jack with Sarah in Caracas. She’d broken Jack’s heart without meaning to, and Mac had felt something click in his head the same way it always did when he solved a puzzle. The fact that he hadn’t particularly wanted to see the shape of this one had nothing to do with the situation.

He'd already known how much Jack meant to him. He just hadn't realized until then exactly _what_ Jack meant to him. 

Bozer was on his feet now, pacing back and forth. “I still think I need to kick this guy’s ass for you.”

That actually startled a chuckle out of Mac. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not possible.” He stood up to intercept Bozer’s route, stopping him with hands on his shoulders. “It’s okay, Bozer,” he said quietly, the ache back in his chest. “He makes me happy. Just like it is.”

Bozer didn’t move for a moment, then pulled Mac into a hug. “Whoever he is, he still doesn’t deserve you.”

Mac sighed, letting himself be hugged. He didn’t want to imagine what Jack’s opinion on that statement would be.


	2. Chapter 2

Bozer had always considered himself a problem solver. See a cool kid getting bullied? Punch out the ringleader. Don’t have the budget for special effects? Figure out how to make them at home. Your best friend still hung up on his supposedly dead girlfriend? Stage an intervention.

This however, there didn’t seem to be a solution for.  He was still mulling it over the next morning as he stared into the fridge without actually seeing anything, trying to figure out what you were supposed to do when your best friend was suffering under the weight of unrequited love. He said he was happy, but Bozer knew  from experience that Angus Macgyver didn’t have very high standards when it came to being happy. Should he be encouraging Mac to move on from this guy? The few times they’d tried to go clubbing hadn’t been all that successful, but things seemed to be pretty quiet at the Phoenix Foundation for the moment. Should he try to get him to go out more?

Or should he encourage him to try and see if Mr. Love Story was really as hopeless as Mac thought? Mac was sure he was straight, but until last night Bozer would have said the same thing about Mac. On top of that, Mac needed a hell of a lot of prompting before he talked about his feelings. It’s possible this other guy had no idea that Mac was crazy about him.

Of course, it was just as possible that the guy would react exactly the way Mac was afraid he would, and saying something would mess up a friendship that was important to Mac. Damn it, these things were so much easier in the movies....

“Mac! Bozer! I brought breakfast!”

Bozer shook off his train of thought, shutting the refrigerator door and turning around to see Jack come in with a bag and a to-go container of coffees. “My man, you know you don’t always have to bring food, right?” Bozer said, taking the coffee with his name on it. “Our cereal collection and our hearts are open to you.”

 “Unless it’s Captain Crunch with Crunchberries, it doesn’t exist for me.” Jack set the rest of the coffees on the counter, pulling out a bagel and handing it to Bozer before taking his own. “Your usual, complete with double cream cheese.”

“Thank you, kind sir.” Bozer took a bite of his bagel, realizing that his best opportunity for some real reconnaissance was right in front of him. Between the two of them they knew Mac better than anyone else on the planet, and the fact that Mac was still in the shower meant that this was a rare opportunity for some private conversation time.

“What’s on your mind, Bozer?” Jack asked, taking a leisurely bite of his own bagel as he watched Bozer’s face. “Everything okay with Mac?”

Bozer nodded, thinking about how to phrase it while spilling as few of Mac’s secrets as possible. “Has he been hanging out with anybody new  at work?  Some super-smart spy tech I haven’t met yet?”

Jack’s brow immediately lowered. “No.” He paused. “Do you think he’s meeting someone without telling you?”

Realizing where he was going with this, Bozer waved a hand. “No, no no. This is definitely not spy stuff, or even Nikki stuff. I just worry about him sometimes, you know? Dude likes to pretend he’s all brain, which means he’s not nearly as careful with his heart as he should be.”

Jack’s expression softened instantly. “Yeah.” Then his face went through about three more steps Bozer couldn’t identify, ending up somewhere far more solemn than he’d been expecting. “You think he’s seeing someone and isn’t telling you about it?”

Bozer shrugged. “Hard to tell.” He took another bite of his bagel, starting to regret that he’d brought it up at all. “Listen, it’s probably—“

He immediately cut himself off when he heard a door open, and a second later Mac walked in with his face lit up and his hair still slightly wet from the shower. “What are you doing here already?” Mac asked with a grin, eyes on Jack. “I set my watch by you being at least five minutes late.”

“Well, I had to leave early this time to make sure you got your poppy seed bagel,” Jack tossed back. “Turns out there’s an entire carpool who always comes in just ahead of me who keeps buying them all.”

“I’ll have to find out who they are and figure out a way to re-set their alarm clocks remotely.” Pulling out his bagel, he toasted Jack’s with it before leaning against the counter right next to him. “Thanks, man.” Mac’s expression softened as he looked over at Jack. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Course I did.” Jack grinned back at him. “Couldn’t keep letting a bunch of suits steal my partner’s bagels, could I?”

Watching this, Bozer could practically feel the lightbulb turn on above his head. He had zero questions about Mac’s brotherly love and concern for him, but he was pretty sure his super-spy best friend hadn’t yet processed that Bozer was actually in the room. This was hardly even the first time the two had so zeroed in on each other that they failed to pick up on anything else that was going on, but this was the first time Bozer had had the right context for it.

 _Jack_ was Mac’s secret unrequited love.

Bozer was officially a dumbass for not seeing it sooner.

Unfortunately, that also made the question of what to do about it a hell of a lot harder. Jack was a big damn deal to Mac, and wrecking that would mess up something important in someone he loved like a brother. Hell, maybe he really did have to leave this one alone.

Well, maybe not before he did a little more reconnaissance. Because honestly? Jack had pretty much forgotten Bozer was in the room, too.

“So,” he said out loud, startling them both. “How bad do you think Thornton’s laser eyes are gonna be if we’re 10 minutes late?”

The way they both immediately started scrambling was _extremely_ entertaining to watch.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack was torn. Mac was entitled to a social life, and after the way Bozer had been tossed into the spy game it was entirely possible he was trying to protect this new girl by keeping her as far away as possible. Of course, the last time Mac kept something from Jack he was trying to hunt down his ex-girlfriend the international terrorist all on his own, and even if this new girl wasn’t a supervillain there was no way to tell whether she’d be good for Mac. If he didn’t feel like he could introduce her to either Jack _or_ Bozer, how worthy could she truly be?

It was that last question that propelled Jack to the empty office where Riley was curled up with her laptop, finishing up some patches for the NSA’s online security so the “mysterious hacker” who was working with The Collective couldn’t use the same way in that she did. Jack leaned against the doorway, watching her fingers fly across the keys and waited patiently for her to acknowledge his presence.

When she did lift her head, stretching her arms upward to work out the kinks, she shot him an amused look. “Thornton send you over to check on me? Because I could do this a lot faster if I didn’t have to use this snail of a machine the NSA sent over.”

He grinned back at her. “It’s either that, or let the NSA put a program on _your_ laptop that tracks your keystrokes, and I think we both know how well that would have worked out for everybody.” He stepped into the office, stealing one of the available chairs. “Actually, I was wondering if Mac’s told you anything about a girl he’s seeing.”

Her expression made it clear she was questioning either his intelligence or his sanity. “You asked Bozer, right?” When he nodded, she shook her head. “Listen. If Mac hasn’t told you or Bozer something, then he hasn’t told anyone else on this _planet_. And before you ask, no I’m not going to hack his e-mails for you.”

Jack sighed. “I was pretty sure you’d say that.”

“Good.” She watched his face, her own expression turning thoughtful. “Do we think this is another Nikki situation, or are you just freaking out because his attention is focused on someone out there you don’t know about?”

“I am not ‘freaking out,’” Jack corrected immediately, already planning to keep a closer eye on Mac for the next couple of days. Maybe it would turn out to be nothing, and Bozer had misinterpreted something Mac had said. “This is a very natural, normal level of concern.”

“Uh huh.” Still, there was something worryingly gentle in her expression. “Listen, Jack. If you’re never gonna make a move, you’ve got to give Mac the chance to go out and find someone else. You owe him that.”

Jack’s brain was still caught up enough in his own thoughts that it took him a second to process what Riley had said. When it did, he was caught somewhere between “I would never” and “oh hell she knows” that thankfully still managed to sound incredulous. “Make a—?“ He stopped, shaking his head. “ _No_. That is absolutely _not_ what this is about.”

She gave him a disbelieving look. “If you’re about to give me any kind of ‘I’m so straight’ denial, don’t think I’ve forgotten the pep talk you gave me after that cheerleader freaked out because I had a crush on her. I might not have looked like I was listening, but I was.”

“One, I’m touched. Truly.” Riley was one of only a very small group of people he’d ever told, because when you grew up in Texas and then joined the military it was a hell of a lot easier to just date women. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t looked, or that a couple of guys over the years hadn’t looked back. “Two, I am more than _20 years older_ than Mac. Me ‘making a move’ isn’t even a relevant topic of discussion.”

But if he wasn’t? If he was younger, and someone better? Well, hell, who wouldn’t want Mac? Anyone with eyes could see the kid was something special. The kind of person you wanted to be with just because they were _them_. They’d actually been assigned to the same case only once, back when they were both in Afghanistan, and after that Jack had proceeded to drive his bosses insane by continuing to include Mac in things whether he was assigned to them or not. He’d also helped out with a few army things, also completely against regulation, because when Mac called there was no way Jack wasn’t going to be there.

And then Mac’s tour had ended, he’d gotten sent back home, and… well, it was probably a good thing Patty had shown up with that job offer when she did. A stir-crazy field agent wasn’t good for anyone, and she'd even been a few steps ahead of him when he’d said he already knew who her next recruit should be.

But he was fine with the way it was. He already had more than he deserved from Mac, and he wasn’t about to mess that up by reaching for things that weren’t his.

“Aaaand you just went off into ‘Mac Land,’ didn’t you?” Riley asked, amused. “Seriously, Jack, the bad guys should figure out a way to turn your ability to hone in on Mac and shut out the rest of the world into a secret weapon.”

Jack held up a warning finger. “Don’t even joke about that.” He had nightmares about that, sometimes, that someone else would figure out how much he would do to keep Mac safe. It was one of the reasons he always insisted on being right there whenever Mac did something dangerous. If they were going to be in trouble, they were going to damn well do it together.

“Jack.” Riley’s expression gentled again. “You know you’re allowed to be happy, right?”

Jack let out a breath. “I am happy,” he said finally, the words true even though they made his chest ache. “What there is, right now, is really good.” Then, his “everything’s great” face firmly in place, he slapped the flat of his hand against the desk and pointed a finger at Riley. “But it’s still my job to protect Mac, even if it’s from himself. That’s all this is.”

“Jack.” Her voice was soft. “You look at Mac the way you used to look at Mom sometimes.”

Oh, _ow_. Jack had to close his eyes a moment. “You think Mac’s noticed?” he asked quietly.

“I’m sure he hasn’t.” She squeezed his hand, voice suddenly brisk and cheerful. “And hey, maybe I was wrong about not being willing to hack his e-mails. You’ll owe me, though.”

He smiled back at her, more grateful for the attempt at comfort than the offer, and returned the squeeze. “I’m sure I will.”


	4. Chapter 4

Unless she was hacking something (formerly for cash and now for the fate of the free world), Riley was a firm believer in letting people mind their own business. She didn't want other people sticking their noses in where they didn't belong, which meant she owed it to them to do the same.

But this... this was Jack. And Mac, for that matter, though _his_ situation crashing and burning might actually make things better for Jack in the long run. But if Mac had actually found something that made him happy, he deserved to keep it no matter what it did to Jack. No matter how it fell out, someone she cared about was going to end up hurt. Which, basically, meant that there was no good answer for Riley but to leave it alone entirely - even hacking Mac's emails like she'd said she would left her with more information than she wanted to have.

No matter how certain she was of that, though, she still found herself lingering by the door Thornton's office on the way out of the building that night. It was open, so she knocked lightly on the door frame before poking her head in. "I'm almost done with those patches."

"Good." Thornton didn't look up, her head bent over something on her computer screen. "Their head of cyber security is sure they won't be worth the wait, and I have an excellent bottle of scotch riding on you proving them wrong."

Riley smirked. "Consider the scotch yours." Then she hesitated. "Listen, I know this is kind of a weird question, but there's not any kind of rule against fraternization here, is there?"

It was ridiculous, she knew that. But if they ever managed to work themselves out, she didn't want something that small and stupid to stop them.

The question was enough to make Thornton lift her head, eyebrow raised. "Do you want there to be?"

Okay, that wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. "What?"

Now Thornton looked amused. "Bozer?"

Oh. Riley cleared her throat, horrified to feel her cheeks heat. "No, that's...."  There was no safe way to describe what was going on there, nothing she quite dared let herself believe in yet. But she liked it, whatever it was. "We're cool."

"Ah." Thornton's smile twitched. "For the record, there are no rules against fraternization at the Phoenix Foundation." She turned back to her work, expression sobering as her voice dropped to a murmur. "I couldn't do that to Jack."

Riley chewed that last bit over as she headed out of the building, less and less happy with every step. If she wasn't the only one who could read Jack like a book, that meant she might have been wrong and there could be other people who saw it. Did Mac know? Because if he did, she might actually be pissed off at him.

Bozer would know if Mac knew, right? And if _she_ knew, maybe she could start figuring out how to nudge Jack into moving the hell on.

She stopped walking in the parking garage, freezing when she realized she'd already started pulling her phone out of her pocket. She _really_ shouldn't get involved. It was a bad idea to even think about it.

But if she didn't do anything, and she could have made things better for people she cared about....

Before she could argue herself one way or the other, her phone rang. Seeing Bozer's name, she rolled her eyes at the cosmos for its sense of timing before she picked up the phone. "Hey."

"First, my beautiful bronze angel, I want to apologize in advance for a very strange question. Is there _any_ chance you could tell me whether or not Jack is 100 percent heterosexual?"

It dovetailed neatly enough with the question she'd been tempted to ask him about Mac that her brow lowered. "Why?"

He hesitated. "Let's just say I have this friend who would be extremely interested in wooing Jack, and he happens to be of the male persuasion. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a chance because of Jack’s presumed straightness, and so I kind of wanted to find out whether he was right or not before I brought it up."

Damn it. Riley sighed, accepting the fact that she was already involved. "I’ll answer your question if you answer one of mine. Does Mac know Jack's in love with him?"

There was a moment of dead silence on the other end of the phone, which Riley assumed meant no until Bozer sucked in a sharp breath. "So this is what it feels like to live a movie," he said finally, sounding absolutely delighted. "I thought I was already doing it after the whole spy thing, but right now I can practically hear the background music. And I am _loving_ it."

Riley made an annoyed sound. "You're not making any sense, Bozer."

"I will when I tell you that the friend I was talking about just happens to be a blond genius super-spy named Angus."

Riley's mouth fell open. "You're serious."

"I would never lie about matters of the heart, my magnificent technological goddess. I want my boy happy, and Jack’s a pretty awesome guy.”

“So’s Mac.” She felt herself start to smile. “I won’t even have to do the ‘hurt him and I’ll kill you’ speech.”

Bozer laughed. “I was thinking the same thing.” Then he sobered. “The only question is, what do we do about it?"

That... was more complicated. "They won't believe us if we just tell them."

“No, they won’t.” Bozer sighed. “And, movie or not, I’m guessing setting up a conveniently romantic moment someplace out of the way isn’t going to work, either.”

“Probably not. They clearly don’t even know that the other person has a chance of being interested.” Still, that got her thinking. “I’m pretty sure Jack’s gearing up to talk to Mac about the ‘mysterious girlfriend’ he thinks he has, though. I can maybe push him in that direction, if you think it would help.”

“It might, but it also might send Mac bolting in the other direction.” He sounded thoughtful, voice pitched low enough that she imagined he was hiding somewhere that Mac couldn’t hear him. “A chase scene isn’t what we’re looking for right now.”

She let out a breath. “Is there anything we can do to get him running _to_ Jack, even if it’s just to shout at him? If we can get them both yelling at each other, we might finally get them to say some of this stuff to the person who actually needs to hear it.”

“I _knew_ you watched more movies than you admitted to.” He sounded so pleased by that fact that she couldn’t stop her lips from curving upward again. “And now that I think about it, we might be able to pull that off....”


	5. Chapter 5

See, _this_ was why Mac didn't like to talk about his feelings.

You let one little thing accidentally slip to your best friend, and not even 24 hours later it gets around to the love of your life in a horribly mutated version that had nothing to do with reality. Admittedly, the truth would have been worse - he'd rather Jack worry about an imaginary, potentially evil girlfriend any day of the week then have him worry about letting Mac down gently – but he was pretty sure the resulting conversation was still going to be painful as hell. When he asked Bozer why he hadn't just told Jack the truth – surely unrequited love wouldn't worry him as much, as long as he didn't know he was the target – Bozer said he hadn't known until Riley had called to warn him.

It would have helped if she'd called _Mac_ , but fine.

So if Bozer wouldn't do it, Mac would. He really didn't want to have this conversation over the phone – if nothing else, Jack would never believe him if he couldn't see Mac's face - and he _really_ didn't want to risk waiting until tomorrow morning when he'd be more vulnerable. If he waited any longer than that, though, who knows when the conversation would happen?

Which was why he was standing outside the door to Jack's apartment later that night, working up the nerve to knock.

In the end, though, he didn't need to, because Jack swung the door open anyway. "Let me guess," he said, the easiness in his tone not quite genuine as he ushered Mac inside. " _You_ found out that _I_ found out about your secret girlfriend, and you're here to tell me not to worry."

Mac didn't sit down, even though Jack did. "No, I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. There is no secret girlfriend – you misinterpreted something Bozer said. It’s nothing."

Jack considered this for what felt like a small eternity. "Okay." There was that edge to his voice that always meant he knew Mac wasn't telling him everything. "If it’s nothing, then why are you here at 9 o'clock at night telling me this instead of waiting until I got around to asking you about it?"

"Because your favorite time to get me to talk about things is when people are shooting at us," Mac snapped. "And I wasn't exactly looking forward to hammering this one out under a hail of gunfire."

"Mac." Jack's voice was gentle  now, which was infinitely more dangerous than his interrogation mode. "Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me."

Mac looked away, his eyes escaping Jack to survey the rest of the apartment. It was a lot smaller than the house he and Bozer shared, and about as messy as you'd expect, but Mac had always felt at home here. It was very... Jack.

Hell.

He let out a breath. "There is someone," he said finally. "But it's not a relationship." He felt his throat move to form the letter H, stopping himself before it could. "She doesn't feel the same way about me."

There. He'd get some sympathy, a few words of advice, and then it would all be done.

But Jack wasn't saying anything at all, and when Mac turned back to look at him he looked almost... angry. "If she can't see how special you are, she's not worth whatever hurt she's putting you through." There was an edge to his voice Mac wasn't sure he'd ever heard before.

Mac's shoulders tightened defensively. "You're one to talk. Remember Sarah?"

Jack shook his head. "That was me mourning a chance I'd let pass me by a long time ago, which isn't the same thing at all. Besides, you're twice the man I am."

Mac's defensiveness, out of long habit, immediately swung in Jack's favor. "Why do you keep saying things like that?" He could feel his voice rising, angry at Jack for both Jack's sake and his own. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met, including _Bozer_ , and yet you keep talking about yourself like you're some kind of bad guy." His throat tightened as a rush of emotion hit. "It's inaccurate, and it's pissing me off. So stop."

Jack looked surprisingly thrown by the little outburst, something fragile flashing in his expression as he cleared his throat. "Fair enough. But the same thing is true for you, too. Don't let what happened with Nikki make you think less of yourself."

Mac shook his head. "It's always been like that. Even when I seem interesting at first, they always end up figuring out that I'm just too weird for them."

"If I don't get to talk that way about myself, you sure as _hell_ don't get to talk that way about you." There was something deeper than anger in Jack's voice now as he pushed himself to his feet. "I can promise you – anyone in their right mind would know how damn lucky they were to have you."

The words gouged. They were so easy to _say_ , but Mac knew there was no way Jack would still feel that way if he knew. He’d be kind, he’d be sorry, but it would still be another damn door that was forever closed to him. “Oh really?” He couldn’t stop the bitterness in his voice. “So you’re telling me that if I came to you one day and said I was in love with you, you’d still feel the same way?”

Something that looked almost like hurt flashed across Jack’s face, but when it was quickly buried under anger again Mac was sure he must have read it wrong. “I’m more than 20 years older—“

“What does that have to do with anything?” Mac threw his hands up in the air. “If we go by mental ages, I’m probably a solid 10 years older than you. That doesn’t change the fact that I could still walk up to you one day and say that you're the best thing that ever happened to me—“ A distant part of his brain listened in horror at the words falling out of his mouth, already scrambling for a way to try and take them back. “—that just being next to you is enough to make me happier than pretty much anything else on the planet, and I have fucking dreams about your hands some nights. And it also doesn’t change the fact that if that happened, all _you_ would do is try and figure out the nicest way to tell me no. So leave my love life _alone_.”

As the last words left his mouth, Mac realized that Jack’s expression had shifted into something absolutely, painfully raw. He immediately regretted every word that had left his mouth, wanting them back now for an entirely different reason. That hadn’t been at all fair of him. Jack couldn’t help being straight, and there was no way he would _want_ to hurt Mac if he could make another choice. But Mac... Mac had hurt him when there hadn’t been a reason. “Jack, listen. I’m sorr—“

The rest of his attempt at an apology cut off when Jack cleared his throat. “You remember the end of our first mission, where we were just sitting there so damn grateful we hadn’t blown up?” His voice was scratchy. “I made some stupid joke, I can’t even remember what it was, but even though I’d already made a dozen of them since we’d met that was finally the one where I got a grin out of you.”

Mac nodded, feeling suddenly like he didn’t have any breath in his lungs anymore.

“It hit me like a bolt right out of the blue.” Jack smiled a little, but it was one of those smiles that hurt. “I knew right then and there that making you smile was exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. And you know what? I was right.” Then he inhaled, and it was like reality itself rushed back into his face. “But you were 23 and traumatized, and if someone like me had tried to hit on you back then I’d have punched them in the face for it.”

Mac’s heart was pounding so loudly he could feel it in his ears, his brain as useless as a blown circuit. What? Could he... could he possibly be saying....

While Mac stood there in stunned silence, Jack visibly collected himself. “So I know better than anyone how much you’re worth, and I will be damned if some—“

“It’s you.” The words fell out of Mac mouth, which was probably good because his brain couldn’t have come up with any if it tried. “So I’d be more careful about whatever insult you’re about to use.”

Jack froze, his own sudden surprise visibly jerking him to a halt. “What?”

Mac swallowed. “The person I’ve been talking about this whole time. The one I’m in love with, who I was sure didn’t love me back.” He felt shaky, more so than he ever had in the middle of a war zone. “It’s you.”

The surprise on Jack’s face slowly but surely slid into utter shock. His mouth opened and closed a few times, a clear sign that Jack’s brain was just as thoroughly fried as Mac’s was. “But... but I’m....”

“If you say anything about your age again, I promise you I will figure out a way to kick your ass.”

Jack’s mouth snapped closed, and he blinked hard against suddenly wet eyes. When he let out a breath, it sounded as shaky as Mac felt. “I would really, really like to kiss you right now.”

Mac’s laugh was only a little wild. “Yeah.” He felt like someone had created a sun inside his chest. “I think you should probably do that.”

The kiss was awkward, too much enthusiasm on both sides for there to be any real coordination, but it was enough to make an entire host of biological chemicals light up Mac’s insides like fireworks. He’d kissed people he liked before, people he cared for, but it was like the neurotransmitters had all been waiting for someone he loved this fiercely before showing off the full range of their capabilities. He _burned_ , wanting in a way he knew he never really had before.

When they broke apart, they were both breathing hard. “You’re sure about this?” Jack managed.

Mac nodded. “Absolutely.”

Jack just grinned, diving in for another kiss.

000

Later, much later, Mac finally remembered to send a text to Bozer. _Still with Jack._ A pause. _He’s the guy I was talking about._

His phone pinged back a moment later. _Kind of figured out that part._

Next to him, Jack shifted and opened one bleary eye. “Anything wrong?” he murmured, still sounding mostly asleep.

Mac set the phone back down on the bedside table. “We were set up.”

Jack’s lips curved upward as Mac settled back into the bed. “Suspected as much.” He tightened his arm around Mac. “We probably owe ‘em dinner or something.”

Mac couldn’t stop his own smile as he drifted back off to sleep. “Probably.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to even post this, but... well. It's actually set in between the bulk of the last chapter and the little texting bit at the end, but since it's from Jack's perspective rather than Mac's I put it here.

Before this, Jack would have had a hard time picking out the best night of his life. He’d had some fun over the years, had some good things happen to him, but none of it really qualified. Some nights had _seemed_ like they made the grade while he was living them, but later they hadn’t ended up mattering enough to qualify. A night that was truly “the best” should stick with you, Jack had always felt. It should maybe even change your life.

This... this was the best night of Jack’s life. There was no doubt in his mind.

“You know, I never figured you for a cuddler,” Mac murmured, a slice of cold pizza in his free hand and his glorious, mostly-bare legs stretched out along both sides of Jack. “I approve, of course, but it’s a little bit of a surprise.”

“Clearly I’ve never been cuddled by an expert before,” Jack teased, shifting his head enough to look up at Mac without lifting his head. He was leaning against Mac’s shoulder, his back against Mac’s bare chest, and Jack wondered if it was actually physically possible to get hooked on touching someone this quickly. He hadn’t allowed himself to before this, not really, almost as if he’d known he wouldn’t be able to stop himself once he’d started. “I’d advise you to go professional, but I’m kind of hoping you’ll confine your skills in this area to a more limited group.”

Mac nuzzled his hair, sounding amused. “And the naked cuddling to just one?”

“Also the nearly-naked cuddling.” He laid an arm over the one Mac had wrapped around his chest, sliding their fingers together. “And I want a big piece of the action on the fully clothed cuddling, too, but I understand I have to share in that area with certain other worthy parties.”

“I don’t usually do a lot of cuddling, actually,” Mac said, his voice suddenly thoughtful as he tossed the crust back into the box and slid his other arm around Jack as well. “At least when I’m not dating someone. Bozer’s niece and nephew do it, but that’s about it.”

“If word gets out about how good a cuddler you are, I think it’s safe to say the demand in that area will increase dramatically.” He shifted enough to press a kiss against Mac’s jaw, amazed all over again at how good it felt just to be _held_ by the right person. And that it was _this_ right person? Now? If you’d asked him yesterday, Jack would have believed in aliens before he would have believed this was ever possible. “Of course, if I _don’t_ tell anyone, that means I won’t have to share as much. So I’m torn.”

Mac’s lips curved up. “Don’t be. I’m happy cuddling an appreciative audience of one.” Then he inhaled, his voice turning serious again. “And if you want to keep quiet about this at work, I—“

“No.” Jack was up and turned around in an instant, fixing Mac with the firmest look he had. “Absolutely not. We keep too many secrets as it is. The last thing I want to do is turn you into one.”

The look of utter relief on Mac’s face made Jack’s chest clench. “Hey, I’m with you on this one. But us being together is probably going to end up breaking a rule somewhere, and you’ve got more of a career investment in government work than I do.”

“Hardly the first time I've ever broken the rules.” Jack leaned in for a kiss, soft and sweet, and he was struck with amazement all over again over the fact that he was _allowed_ to do this now. That Mac _wanted_ him to. “Especially with you.”

Mac’s hand slid around the back of his neck, holding him close even after the kiss had ended. “So you _were_ breaking the rules working with me in Afghanistan.”

“Not the first time.” He leaned his forehead against Mac’s. “I didn’t get you in trouble, did I?”

“My CO at the time was so grateful whenever he didn’t actually have to _see_ me break regulations I’m pretty sure he would have paid you to take me off his hands.” Mac said wryly. “Did I get _you_ in trouble?”

Jack’s lips curved up. “I’m used to being in trouble, and you were a damn good reason.” He leaned in for another quick kiss. “I kept worrying that you’d ask me about it, though.”

“Not a chance. A part of me wanted to, but I was sure if I said something one of our bosses would suddenly realize that there was no way a CIA agent and an Army EOD tech should be spending so much time together and get one of us moved.” His expression went soft. “It was tough when my tour ended and they sent me home. I tried arguing for an extension, but I’d already been over there as long as I was legally allowed to be.”

The idea that Mac had tried to stay with him, even then, made his throat tighten. “I lived for your e-mails, man. I didn’t even want to admit it to myself, but I did.”

This time, it was Mac who stole the kiss. “Drove me crazy, because I knew you were probably getting into all kinds of trouble over there that I couldn’t help you with. When you told me you were quitting and moving here to California, I couldn’t stop grinning about it for _days_.”

Mac had met him at the airport, with a sign and a handmade confetti pocket launcher that had nearly gotten them both kicked out of the arrivals terminal, and no matter what he’d told himself Jack had come pretty damn close to kissing him right then. Patty's job offer had been burning a hole in his pocket, a better future than he’d ever imagined so close it was making him dizzy. “And then I asked if you wanted to be a superspy, and you said yes before I’d even finished the explanation.”

“Of course I did.” Mac grinned. “It meant that not only would we be working together again, we’d actually be assigned together all the time. No matter what it was, I’d always be right there when you needed me.”

When you’d lived the kind of life Jack had, a sentiment like that meant more than the best romantic poetry. His throat tightened again. “Have I mentioned yet how much I love you?”

Mac’s face was pure sunlight. “Couple of times, but that doesn’t mean you should stop saying it.” His other hand came up to tug Jack closer. “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”

“Couple of times,” Jack murmured against his mouth before diving into a longer, more intense kiss. His hands moved under Mac’s butt, tipping them both backwards onto the open expanse of bed. “But that doesn’t mean you should stop saying it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my new original fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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